I feel for your situation so much, because I know the tremendous effort that you have put into repairing your marriage, and sex life in particular. It all sounds very one sided (with you doing all the work) at the moment.
I have a thought that I would like you to consider. Keep in mind that it's just my thought, so take it with ample salt. What I'm wondering is: have you perhaps been doing too much of the pursuing of late?
In The SSM, Michele talks about a see-saw effect where if one partner takes on the role of sexual pursuer too much, the other partner backs off and no longer initiates. I think there is also a 'natural' (if you want to call it that) masculine/feminine dynamic that you may be upsetting as well, in that the man is most naturally the enticed, the pursuer, and (if he's lucky) the conquerer, while the woman is most naturally the enticer, the pursued, and then the conquered. It's a pattern that enhances his masculinity, her femininity, and is a game that should never stop, even long after marriage.
So what would happen if you were to back off a notch or two, and give him some space to pursue you? This would allow him to fall into his natural masculine role, and to court and seduce YOU for a change. You can either entice or even play it a bit coy (whatever suits the situation), but either way, you're still available for him sexually.
What brought this to mind was that in Poet's thread, you mentioned how "going dark" worked very effectively for you in bringing his attention back to you in the past. In a sense, I'm wondering if doing a bit this in the sexual arena might work for you. He sounds like he's taking your frequent sexual overtures now far too much for granted, and is even being rather derogatory about them.
On the other hand, I know that you're afraid that if you back off even just a little, he'll point to it and say "See, I knew you were just faking your increased sexual interest and are now reverting back to your old self again...." This would be foolish of him in the extreme, but he's not being very wise at the moment to begin with. It's your call as to what the situation now calls for.
Some food for thought.
-- B.
I almost missed this...
Thank you B~
I am trying too hard and pursuing to much. You all are exactly right. He is also almost derragotory about it.
I am so blessed to have you all really. I cant thank you enough for reading between the lines. I have for a few days just been acting available and sexy. { thanks FIB} It is working. and then he initiates. I want him to be the Man again for sure. I like to initiate but it is so much more "hot" when he seduces me. IMO~
Last nite after I made seductive comment and kissed him on his neck and he ingorned me cause he was playing our D10s video game again. * eyes rolling.
And he said hey ? I though you said you were going to x and then y and then z ? What happened?
I replied.. I wanted to but you ignored me.
H~
I ignore YOU ?
as if to say I am the one doing the ignoring?
Anyway thanks hon.... awesome food for thought. You are the best. ~Ali
