Another one joins the flock (Part II)

[Mike85]

And the roller coaster ride continues.

At about 10 am, I was worrying about W, since I hadn't heard from her. If OM hadn't returned or contacted her, I knew that W would be a basketcase. I figured that texting was lower-key than calling.

At about 10 am, I decided to text W to see if she was OK. Her reply was just "No."

I texted again to ask if she had heard anything. Her reply again was just "No"

I texted a 3rd time and asked if she wanted to talk. She said yes.

She was a mess. Had no proof as to whether OM was dead, in a hospital, on a bender, or just AWOL from stress. She had spent night alone and couldn't sleep. She had no one else to hang with and keep her company, since her friends were out of town.I offered for me and the kids to be with her, in any venue she chose. She came over. We played ladderball as a family, sat in Adirondack chairs, ran around the yard. W was smiling, laughing. She beat me in ladderball.

Eventually, the kids got hungry, and our youngest was yelling for Chuck E. Cheese. W figured that it was early enough, so we drove the half-hour to get there. Had a great time, even though the pizza was AWFUL. W kicked butt in skeeball. We were there about an hour and a half. Periodically, she would check her phone for messages.

Then the bad thing happened. As I was getting the kids ready for departure (the dreaded turning in of tickets for prizes), W came over, crying. She said "I have to get our of here" and ran out of the place. After the kids finally cashed in their stuff, we went outside and saw W sitting on curb, looking at her phone and yelling at herself. Apparently, OM had called while she was playing skeeball and she never heard her phone ring. She was angry at herself for coming with us, for playing skeeball, for missing the call...

We drove home mostly in silence. She kept redialing OM's phone # and periodically hit the steering wheel out of her anger at herself. I didn't say anything. I didn't know WHAT to say. Every once in a while I'd rub her arm in sympathy, and she didn't recoil.

When we got home, she gave the kids hugs and kisses and almost fell into my arms, sobbing. I whispered to her that she shouldn't be mad at herself for spending time with her own children, that the alternative would have been sitting at home, alone, going crazy, hoping that he MIGHT call. I told her that she WAS checking her phone periodically and it was an accident that she missed his call, which could have happened no matter where she was. She hugged me tighter, and I said that if I didn't hear/read from her by 6, that I'd text her to see if she was OK, and that all she'd have to do is text me back. I told her to call her friend Jen and ask her to come over - she shouldn't be alone. Then, I told her that I loved her, she told me that she loved me and thanked me for the last two days, and drove off.

[sigh]

I'm drained.

In my heart, I know that a lot of people, myself included, knew that OM was going to do this to her at some point. He has a habit of falling off the wagon and going AWOL. I didn't expect it so soon. This time, he stranded her a half-hour from home, didn't contact her for 24 hours, and then became unreachable again. She's upset. Almost hysterical. She can't believe that he would do this to her. It kills me to see her hurting like this, especially over HIM. All I can do is support her, be careful in what I say and do, be careful with my own heart, and be patient and loving. Seeing the woman I love more than anything in this state hurts so much. Thank God I've got the kids for the rest of the weekend to keep me occupied.

Oh, and as per Jack's advice, I haven't mentioned any of this stuff to anyone else.