Yeah, i know, but at the moment, i don't think she is dealing with any of it at all, is it just a phase that right now, not dealing with me, she can just let go and be happy? She is happier now, and it looks like it isn't hard for her at all. Will that ever happen?
It does happen. In the beginning, they don't really deal with it. The WAS' push it to the back of their minds, because they are so convinced that they are doing the right thing. Just be prepared for the largest and longest roller coaster you will ever ride.
I am not hijacking your thread, but I want to give you an example. My H did the same thing, I don't love you anymore, we can never be together. That was 10 months ago. It has been up and down from there, going from no contact, to some contact, do talking every day, and then back to no contact. He will help me out if I need something tangible immediately. But emotionally, he cannot do it right now.
A few weeks back, I got tired, tired of fighting, tired of dealing with all this. I am in therapy because I know there were things I did wrong. I try to validate. I have been accused of being controlling, and I suppose I am to an extent, but that is human nature. I am trying to work on it. So my H loaned me $20, and needed it back about two weeks later. I didn't have it on me, it was in the bank, and I offered to meet him somewhere after work. He said he would if he could. Well, I got tired of waiting, and slipped it in the mail. Sent him a text so he could expect it.
He was mad! Why...I don't know. But he was mad. I apologized, told him I meant no disrespect, and left it alone. A few days later, I got a call and he apologized to me, which is a big thing for him. He doesn't usually do that.
My point in telling you all of this is that we went from where you are, going through all kinds of highs and lows, and I still have hope. It just depends on how you handle it. My suggestion is get yourself a really good C, and don't try making her feel guilty. I know you had the best of intentions with the email, and it was obvious, but right now she is not going to hear it. Think of your wife as an alien, because right now, she sees nothing but her own experience, her own pain. She cannot see the people around her who are hurting at all. That includes you.
This is a long ride, be prepared. It could be resolved quickly, and it could take a very long time...there is no guarantee. But remember that if you work on you, in the long run, you will be a better person regardless of the outcome.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
