My son is just waking up. I haven't seen him since yesterday when he was reeling from the untimely death of a friend. A quick post before while he becomes fully conscious.
When I called WTS on his cell, he sounded happy to hear from me.. that tone in his voice that tugs a chord deep inside. I told him the facts, listened to what he was going to do and said goodbye, hanging up as fast as I could. The rare times I initiate a call, I get off like a cat on a hot tin roof except for that one exception.
His tone has lingered in the recesses of my mind. I woke up thinking about him, his current life and the resonance of his voice. I've eaten 5 S'mores since last evening. I'd gone a full week without any processed sugar. I'm learning my triggers.. my children in pain; any hope, however faint, of caring on his part.
Ugh... I can only control my actions. Talking to him leaves me emotionally shaky, even though it's not as bad as before. It's back to texts and emails.
