Completely and utterly devastated--how to cope

[istherehope]

Ok I am obsessive because I'm typing this on my Blackberry. I am at our house...basically I took the train to the stop by our house. H said he wasn't hungry, let's just meet at the house. I come and he's not in very good spirits, doesn't feel well or really want to do anything, but did ask me to come here. So, I took the dogs for a walk, then came back.

This is when things heat up so for anyone easily offended by this stuff, please look away ;). I've lost some weight, so I stood by H and lifted up my skirt to show that I looked thinner. It was maybe a bit manipulative, but we ended up in the bedroom, and yes, there was sex, and it was very good. Like expected, afterwards he got dressed super quickly. Fine, I saw that coming. Now I am here in the house, not really sure how long to stay or what to do. He is at the computer doing paperwork for our car registration and I am upstairs with the cats. I asked about Thursday night before I leave for Poland whether I stay in a hotel by the airport or at the house, said I didn't really care. Famous let's just see pops out. Anyway this is actually not such a bad thing as it's in less than 1 week and at least he's not saying definitely no.

So I think I'll stay another hour or so just to seem normal, and show that we can be under the same roof but apart comfortably, and then if he doesn't want to talk or do anything, I'll head out.

This is very weird...
ITH