Wow Abbey, I think there could be something in this.. we're between eclipses and what comes up on Monday (did come up) is supposed to be a precursor for what we will be dealing with from now on over the next weeks and months.

So he has been pretty persistent in meeting up with you then? And well done for holding him off and then being kind of in your own space on the date...made him reach out to you by the sounds, I'm impressed! He did sound like he was thinking of you and making the effort to engage with you...which, no, you wouldnt do if you had happily moved on with someone new. So I say trust your instincts.

So you know that OW has left her H, but you dont think she has moved in with your H? Not if she has 4 kids I guess, becuase presumably, she would have to take them with her and you couldnt move out from one guy and in with another straight off, with your kids in tow, surely, that would do untold damage to them!? And not if he is saying he needs to fall asleep to loud music - that points to some difficulty getting off to sleep I guess.

You are doing so well, whats the 'plan' for next then, wait and see if he contacts you again? I understand totally what you are saying about wanting to be vague rather than, no, I havent done anything about X, because I am an emotional mess right now and miss you terribly, not good DBing, no ! It annoys me a bit that these WAS do that to us, Lisas H does it to her and mine has said "brilliant!" at any news about stuff in my life, with no appreciation taht maybe its not brilliant, maybe in actual fact you feel shattered and unhappy and finding it hard to find the joy in things that you once did before they dumped you from a great height !!! Its like a lack of understanding, or empathy.

Thank you again for your help on my thread, you are a treaure. Things were looking bleak before for you and I am so pleased to read that he is reaching out to you,

Ali xxx

Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs
IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08
Reconciled 05/09 now married!
my thread