Anyone here with a WAS and no children?

[MaxP]

Hi all, seems that there are quite a few people engaged in this discussion. Hopefully that means there will be some useful advice to draw on.

I too had an issue with talking to a mutual friend, who then relayed information back to my W. In fact, my W then followed up by telling / warning me that anything I said to him would come back to her. I knew that anyway and in some ways felt that it was something of an advantage. It's another way of relaying info back to your spouse if the direct lines of communication are troubled.

What I did find hard though was the feeling that she was talking to her friends a lot more about what was really going on in her head than to me. In her mind, they suddenly became more her kind of people than I was. That's particularly galling when you consider your spouse to be your best friend.

I sometimes wonder what was said behind closed doors. I still get the feeling that there was a final trigger to the unfolding of everything. It seemed to change so quickly. I still don't know if I am right on that score, or what it may have been. Probably there was a day when I was suddenly compared to the potential OM and found lacking. Oh, the benefits of hindsight ...

Max