H is having affair after all - part 3

[Jen_Jam]

Hi Eve

I still may be off the mark, so I'd say take my suggestions as to H's behaviour as possibles, not definites.

He can certainly see the changes then, and change tends to scare people. he could just be reacting to the changes, but it's up to him to deal with them. YOU are happy and you're not doing anything to deliberatly hurt him so it's fine (I live my life by the maxim "do what you want, as long as it isn't hurting anyone else, then all is fine")

It doesn't sound bad to describe him as like a tradesman. As you said, emotionally you are drained. Right now if he walked back in and said "OK, let's get back" you probably have nothing to give him. That's totally understandable. I just wondered cos if you were sure you didn't you could persue the D, but I can see doing that may just be more emotional drains. FWIW, when my H and I got back, I had worked on myself but he'd done v. little as he had a bit of mild depression to get out of first. The M problems were still there (little niggles) and I decided that I didn't want old H back. When we got back together I didn't want my old M, my old H, I wanted me and him to change. If you can see your H as same old H I'm not suprised you don't really want him back. You'd be a glutton for punishment!

OK - onto nicer things. I've been to Rome, it's the most wonderful city. It has a young, vibrant atmosphere but is still laid back. It's not like London where the pace of life is 100mph. And the fountains! WOW - the architecture is fantastic, just sitting in one of the cafes enjoying a coffee and watching the world go by ... bliss. I saw the Pope when I was in Rome too! Went to the vatican, he was at an open window, waving his hand and saying something. I couldn't hear him, so I moved into the corwds on the lawn to catch what he was saying. Then I heard him! He was waving his hand and shouting to the crowds: "get off the bl00dy grass!" LOL!!! (sorry - old joke) Have a fantastic chillaxing time