I'm going to meet with H in about 4 hours, and what you said about letting your H open up to you made perfect sense. Like you, H never felt heard in the M. I would like to try listening and just validating too, but I am not sure whether I should try to create a situation where he opens up to me when we meet for lunch, or whether I should only be light and chipper and happy, and keep away from these topics. I was thinking of just asking him something fairly serious, but not R related, like about his job. I used to nag him about working too many hours etc., and say that all he cared about was promotion. So I thought maybe I could give him the chance to talk about how well is work is going, validate, and show how impressed I am? Maybe this will lead him to talk seriously about other things?
Well I think that's my plan for the moment. I'll post back later this afternoon with the results of the meeting!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
