heres an interesting update, I suppose some of you may think I did wrong but here goes. last night I had a phone call it was a number I didn't recognise, turns out it was ex's new wifey phoning off his old cell. I remained very calm and spoke to her at length, don't know if I should have or not. she wanted to know if there is anything at all her and myself can do to stop this ill feeling between people, she means ex and his son, I gave her a few home truths and she started crying, I told her he doesnt understand what he has done to his son, and it was ex who burnt the bridges and it is up to ex to rebuild them if he wants to. she told me ex is devastated at losing his son, many times he just sits crying and saying he as lost everyone, his mum and dad who both died and most of all he has lost his son, she says she has told him to contact son but he is afraid to because he doesnt know how son will react, I told her it has been a long long time and he must not think son will welcome him with open arms, I also asked her if they ever stopped to think what it has done to son's head by doing what they did, that the turning point in all this was when ex turned myself and son out on the streets, how does a father do that to his only child, her response was I know him better than her and when he as a bee in his bonnet what he is like, she says he doesn't talk to her about anything, buries his head in the sand and hopes something will happen and plays his cards very close to his chest. there is a birthday card at theirs and she wanted to know how to get it to son, havent they heard of the postal system. she also asked if son still uses his cell number that dad has, she stated that she pays the bill for this and intends to keep it on because that is the only line of contact that ex has with son, I told her whats the point of that he doesnt phone son and when he does he witholds his number so son doesnt answer it and especially when it is also in the early hours of the morning, she asked if there is any way he can contact son, or anything I could do to help. I told her I dont think I owe this man any favours and cannot put my relationship with my son in jeapordy to help in anyway, however I did let her know I wouldnt stand in the way and I do genuineley hope that they do get back into a father son relationship. Yet again I told her how hard it is to explain, but put yourself in sons shoes and try and think like a 12 year old, your dad leaves with no forewarning, he gets married to someone you dont like, he wont spend even an hour a week with you, he has you a fight and doesn't speak to you for 3 months, he makes contact at xmas and takes you out and buys you everything you ask for to make your bedroom a place of your own, your own little haven and then low and behold three months down the line, dad stops contacting you at all and throws you out of your new little bedroom, out of your home, that he had promised and promised that you could stay in for as long as you like, and afterall it was gonna be yours someday
