"This is the hard part. When he is away it's as if we don't exist. Not sure what to make of that. Any thoughts?"

Yes, because my H does this, too.

He told me that just because we do not hear from him does not mean that he stops missing and thinking about us. He said he thinks about all of us all the time and misses us as well.

The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19