is it really true?

[stella_k]

Hi ((((dear friends)))) and thanks!

I feel much better today. Went for a swim early in the morning, then shopping with D (huge sale here). Retail therapy always works for me :)! I have tanned and wanted to get some new white lingerie to show off my beautiful tan .It's not fashionable anymore, but I don't care, I like it and H always loved the tan look.

H didn't call, then again, I didn't expect him to. He said, he'd call on Monday.

H already said he's going to choose you- act AS IF he is, not with worry....

Yes, Lisa mou, I will act AS IF... Great advice, thanks!


((((HUGS)))) for all.

[addie]

I have tanned and wanted to get some new white lingerie to show off my beautiful tan .It's not fashionable anymore, but I don't care, I like it and H always loved the tan look.

Great idea with the lingerie!!! Retail therapy always does the trick to improve my mood.
I love the tan look too and I always get a tan in the summer.

[stella_k]

Dear ((((all)))),

I don't have much to report.

I'm talking to H a lot, unfortunately it is due to D's yet another problem with her admission! We're trying to solve it and H is very helpful, calls twice a day.

Today we ended up talking for 30 min again. H sounds pretty much pre-bomb, tired, overwhelmed with work, caring about his family, well, NORMAL. I wish D's admission would go more smoothly, even though it brings us together with H. I'm so concerned about D's problems that I forget to be nervous when talking to H, LOL!

I don't even have to act AS IF...

(((HUGS))) everyone.

[JenInVen]

Hi Stella!

I hope everything goes well with your Ds admissions (think positive).

I love it that your H is calling you and not vice versa...shows he wants to talk to you. I think I'll take a bit from your sitch and not call my DAM for a while to see how that goes.

You're an inspiration ((((((Stella))))))

[One Day]

((((Stellitsa-mou)))))

So glad H is sounding more like his normal, pre-bomb self. And that he's calling you! And that you're sharing stuff about D.

You sound like you're doing really well, and I'm rooting for your D too!

L. xx

[addie]

Stella, great that you're having so much contact with H and he's the one initiating. NORMAL is wonderful.
As if you didn't have enough stress, again another problem with D's college admission. I hope it gets resolved soon.

[stella_k]

((((Jen)))), ((((Lisa)))), ((((Addie)))),

hello.

A bit of blue mood again.

I have just spoken with an old friend of ours, he called me. Last time we were in touch was Xmas, H was here and we were still pretending that we're together.
Well, he sent an e-mail to H and H wrote him back that he's with someone else!!! Now F called to ask what happened and I've told him the whole story.
I just don't understand. H is calling every day, we're going to move back together, he is living at home and not with OW, still he's telling our F (our D's Godfather, BTW) that he's together with another woman. Even told him OW's name. For some strange reason it was the most painful part of the convo, when F has called OW by name. Does it mean there is no hope?

It's not really a surprise; if anything, I've learned to trust my gut feeling and my gut feeling tells me I shouldn't be in Piecing. I've been thinking for a while now, that it's really over, H has made his choice and he's just trying to be a good person (which is what he undoubtedly is) and take me back home first, then dump me there, hoping that my friends will take care of me. H is a kind man. He hates hurting people, LOL. I hate this thought.

I'm also surprised that I'm not crying or having a panick attack, I'm just very, very sad.

I wonder if I should move out (of Piecing, I mean), I don't really belong here.

Sorry that I'm not posting on your threads, I can hardly concentrate on anything right now...

[One Day]

((((((Stella))))))

I'm so sorry you're feeling blue. I know the worry about H being nice. I thin mine is the same way.

On the other hand, your H would be being pretty cruel if he was leading you on with no intention of reconciling. Do you think it might be worth running the conversation he had with F by H and seeing how H reacts?

I wish I had something more useful to say. I'm thinking of you.

L. xx

[stella_k]

((((Lisa)))),

On the other hand, your H would be being pretty cruel if he was leading you on with no intention of reconciling.

I'm sure the intention is - or was- there. And now suddenly it's not there anymore! He keeps making premature decisions and changing his mind. OH, I don't know. When he was here he said he wants to be back "for real", whatever that may mean. Then, after I confronted him a while ago about OWs presence in his home, he said "it's real", referring to his sitch with OW. I thought he meant her feelings for him. Now I think may be he meant HIS feelings for her?

May be I'm just fooling myself and twist his words so that I can go on hoping;

Sometimes I think that in the end "nice" MLCers are twice as cruel as the "bad" ones.

I'm glad that I cannot cry, though. If worst comes to worst, at least I will be able to take it calmly.

Unfortunately, I cannot sleep, either :(.

[stella_k]

Just thought of something else.

I could ask my F to forward me H's e-mail. It doesn't go well with my intention to sit tight but it could clear things up a bit.

Or is it a bad idea?