Seperated but living together...

[Kiki1011]

Today work was a little hectic so I didn't have much time to dwell on things which is good. I am actually still at work right now too just kind of closing down and doing end of the day things. In the past hour or so I've started feeling a lot of anxiety because I know that he is now in Milwaukee with the OW. I keep telling myself to calm down and that there is nothing I can do about it, but it is hard. I even tried convincing myself that him going up there would be a good thing so he could miss me and realize that this OW is nothing like hiw W back at home, but I doubt that will happen. Probably the opposite...he will fall even harder for her and push us apart even more. He texted me around 2:00 this afternoon asking about money again, I didn't respond.

So I had a long talk with my MIL last night. She told me things that H has been saying to her like the fact that he isn't thinking about the baby right now because even the DR.'s think I'll lose it (He hasn't even been to an appt. with me so I don't know where he is getting this) and also I guess when she told him that he should try MC before giving up he said "oh Niki would never agree to that so it's pointless"....um hello, I'm the one that suggested it to him. Also he told my MIL that he doesn't feel like talking to OW is wrong because I am probably out talking to other guys and that he never knows where I'm at and I refuse to tell him. I would tell him if he asked, I am not hiding anything from him. He just doesn't ask at all and it's not like I am going to call him everytime I leave the house. I thought he wanted his space? I think he is just trying to make me look bad to my MIL so his actions don't feel or look as bad as they are. I didn't get too upset though, I just laughed at what she said.

Right now I am doing good but I have a feeling that after I get home from work and get to that empty house and see that his tooth brush and over night bag are gone I am going to have a hard time. I keep trying to prepare myself for it.

Thank you for the suggestion of the book Lola. I think I am actually going to go see if I can find it tonight.

Well I guess that that is all for now. I garuntee I will be on later.

((((Everyone))))

Niki