We have all been in the place that you are at, where the WAS does not want to try, says it will never happen. They are unhappy with the situation. They are feeling neglected. Keep in mind, that is not to say that you were, but right now, you have to realize your W has a different perception of what the R was like than you do. So, lets tackle this.
Flirting can be an ego boost. But it should never, ever cross a line. I am wondering if your W has a problem distinguishing between sexual attraction and "feelings" for someone. That could potentially be part of her depression.
DBing is about making you the best person you can be. You cannot change your W. And we can all use improvement in certain areas. Figure out what you can improve upon, and improve it. But...and here is the kicker...it can't be for your W (okay a little) but mostly for yourself. Either way you look at it, you need to make yourself a better you.
Realize that this is not a quick fix. It is going to take time, so you will need to pull out as much patience as you can. If you are not a patient person by nature, then you are going to learn.
I am a firm believer in prayer. I have seen amazing things happen when I have prayed just because, without expecting anything. Pray. A LOT. If you are Christian/Catholic/Protestant, whatever, get the book A Praying Husband by Stormy O'Martian, and do what she says. Her book coincides a lot with DR. And it also helps enact the DR because it gives you somewhere to turn and something to hold onto.
When you feel the need to send an email, post it here first. We will tell you if it is okay, or if you would be a damned fool to send it. (haha). Believe me, I have been saved many times from sending emails that would have killed any chance I ever had.
Vent as much as you want. We will not get bored, or tired ofhearing it, because we have all been there.
Try and stay away from venting to family and friends. Their intentions are good, but ultimately seeing you in pain makes them hurt, and they just want it to stop, so they will encourage you to walk away.
REmember, you are the only one who can make the call on whether or not you want to ride it out, or whether you want to walk away.
Lola
PS What did you email her, if you dont mind my asking?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
