aiming for a new me 10

[Jack_Three_Beans]

One day, I hope you stop saying, I know, but...

I'll buy you a beer, when you stop saying but.

But is weak.

You're better than that.

[Maya44]

Jack, I'm not too strong at all right now buddy. I feel like jumping off the Sears Tower.....and not using a parachute like someone's Vegas trip!

[glamgirl]

Now it sounds like you had a good day with h and then not. What happened the next day is that you wanted to talk about R. I don't think your h is ready.

Things are going pretty good for me and my h, but I still can't talk about R. He just gets angry and walks out or says if your done then your done. Let's get a D. He says he will talk when he is ready. Call it a control thing or he just can't right now, I don't know.

For you, do you need the talk right now? Could you try to rebuild and connect without the talk right now? Do you need closure right now or movement in the m?

What am I saying is, can you try not to focus on the R, but on re-connecting. Once your h starts to shift how he is feeling towards you and the m he may want to open up and talk.

Can you wait for that to happen?

[naej]

Well try counting sheep.
Lets say not in your life for now.
Also by not in your life I mean as a fully paid up husband.
Dar I have never been one to sugar coat things that I don't see. My own pain was prolonged by well meaning people who saw sooo many baby steps and I gave me false hope.
Your situation maybe different as I said, One thing is for sure. You are not happy and spinning at the slightest thing purely because you concentrate too much on him.
Never give up hope but have more hope that whatever the outcome Dar will be great.

[Maya44]

Yep, I believe I can. I was focusing too much on needing to HEAR what he wants. I should just wait to SEE it instead.
I may try to check in here at the hotel tomorrow/sunday but not sure how much time I'll get seeing as we're going to a waterpark D's been DYING to go to! lol

[glamgirl]

Your h says he is done because you put pressure on him. The minute I put pressure on my h the first words out of his mouth are I am done. Go aheada and file.

These men are not going to be forced into anything.

[glamgirl]

I believe that they don't want to talk because they are confused with their own lives and directon. On one hand they like the freedom, not being told what to do, no pressure, but then they see the family, w, responsibilities and are torn.

Also the depression gets in the way and fogs the horizon. Sometimes they are paralyzed and can't even think straight or respond to anything.

Best advice I can give you is, let your h be and try to reconnect in small ways. All interactions need to be fun, loving and kind. No R talk. You need to cloud the vision for your h as to why he left.

For example, if he is enjoying your company so much and is not focused on all the faults of the m, he may one day say why did I leave this beautiful woman again.

Try that for a 180.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Dar,

Last night my wife thanked me for the space I gave her. She said it was one of the best things I was able to do.

Don't you fing quiet on me now, and don't feel sorry for yourself. Learn from your mistakes and kill them. Be the hero not the damsel.

[Maya44]

Hi all,

Just checking in from the hotel! It's just about 7pm and I'm EXHAUSTED from the water park! D and I have been having a nice time but running around in water for hours is quite tiring. We just had dinner, running to get some snacks for the room and then going back to the arcade before heading up to the room for the night. I can't wait to sleep tonight!

H was at his parent's place today and tm'd me asking if we're still around and wanted to know if we can stop by so D can say hi and bye to him. They talked while she wanted to stay in the car, and I just penciled in my eyebrows and didn't say a word. He asked D to call him later to let him know if she was having fun. Then he apologized to me for his behavior lately saying he's just cranky from work. I didn't say anything. I didn't excuse it. He said that he's not done and he just said that from being cranky. So I guess I'll leave him alone more.

I'll try to check in later or tomorrow, but if not then I'll "see" you all on Monday!

PS- Jack.....Don't you fing quiet on me now, and don't feel sorry for yourself..... Thanks hon!


Love & Hugs!

[WCW]

He said that he's not done and he just said that from being cranky. So I guess I'll leave him alone more.

How many of us get to say I told you so!!