Thanks for the warm welcome L & sg. Not quite sure I covered my tracks, I'm finding that once someone has physical & remote access to your PC, there's not much you can do to keep your stuff private.
The day I changed my names around, it seems that my password to check my e-mail was no longer valid. I'm guessing that logging in as "forgot your password" was a little too tempting when you're sitting in a hotel room & have the info to change it into a new one at your fingertips ;-). When I called him to ask what the billing address is so I could get another password, he denied knowing anything about it, but said he could walk me thru how to get a new one. Ahum...
Status quo in my R w/H. As long as OW is in the picture, there's no contact w/me at all. I have S5 call him directly or answer his calls while he's out of town. It's back to calling everyday, which again seems odd, since he can go for days w/no contact while he's in town.
It's my hope that by breaking the patterns that we seemed to be struck in, we can moderate our R & get past the extreme cycles. Nothing can happen though until/unless OW is permanently out of the picture.
This is the longest period of time we've not had any real contact to speak of & it's had a really postive effect on my outlook. It makes me wonder why it took me so long to take a stand & establish firm boundaries.
I've been keeping up w/you all here & hoping to have time this weekend for any thoughts I've had.
Take Care,
Sunny
Oh, & I just really liked this from Gucci Loafer on another thread this morning;
I think you can easily replaced Him with Her in most cases.
Quote:
When a woman has an affair on a man, deep down she feels guilty because she knows it is wrong. However, the woman usually builds a wall around her guilt by blaming the BS and telling him that a big part of the reason is because he didn't this or didn't that or did this to her or did that to her..
The BS usually buys right into her reasons for justifying her affair and starts begging, pleading and telling her he will change......
This is almost always met with... "too little, too late" ILYBANILWY and a thousand other reasons or excuses. He keeps trying harder and harder to show her how he has changed and learned the error of his ways..
All the while, she is THINKING about how great the OM is. Daydreaming about him, talking to him, and probably sleeping with him and lying to the BS about what is really happening....
She does NOT respect you. Why? Because you have not shown her and told her that you are not going to share her with another man. AND if she wants to be with other men, that she CAN NOT have you too.
End of conversation with her... Leave her alone. Do not chase her, do not call her. This woman NEEDS to see and feel that you RESPECT YOURSELF enough that you can (and WILL) do better than being with a woman who can't or isn't faithful. It isn't up for negotiation and you will not compete for her and that HE can have her....
When you learn to respect yourself like that, then she WILL notice. She may or may not come back, but she WILL respect you
