I was starting to feel a bit of a fraud being here, and I also find it very hard to comment on anyone else's post in case I 'taint' them with my non-DB attitude...
I don't think you have a non-DB attitude at all! You want a close friendship with your H, a good co-parenting relationship with him, all of that is right in line DB, IMHO.
I hope you know that your forgiveness & strength through dealing with the fallout of your husband's SA was a huge inspiration to me when I felt weak, so you are very, very far from a DB fraud!
This is my current favorite thread on the DB boards, and here's a quote from it for ya:
The lucky ones [whether or not their piecing or divorced] are the ones who realize that their self esteem is not based upon someone else. Seize life and wring it out for all it is worth, that is lucky. To know that your an amazing person.
The other threads I've bookmarked for inspiration are these, if you haven't read them yet, there's a lot of good stuff in there:
