It's so nice to be able to share some good news instead of all this r stuff
You asked what I was going to do for me? Tonight I am off to see Gigi at the Open Air Theatre with some work peeps which will be fun although it has rained all afternoon so fingers crossed it doesn't get called off. I have a bit of an empty weekend looming which I am trying to get filled at the moment...
Getting encouragement here means so much as I don't get it anywhere else. It helps me to keep going on and also to be patient.
I hope that your movie is a go, that sounds pretty cool. I have never been to a open air theatre before but it sounds like a lot of fun.
I found a solution to the weekend. Work the entire thing. not my idea but I guess we are behind so the powers that be say get it done. o well that just means next weekend will have to be extra fun.
Congrats on the Aunite thing, We have a nephew but we hardle ever seen him, I wish I was closer to beable to be part of the family in that sense. I hope you spoil her and teach her all kinds of thinks to drive her parents nuts!!
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Julia, congratulations on being an aunt, again!!! I love the relationship I have with my nephews, it's so close and kind of like what I imagine being a grandparent is like--love 'em, spoil 'em, drop 'em off at mom and dad's house and go home and get a good night's sleep.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Well, i've had a nice weekend overall. I nearly stayed in by myself but I forced myself to go out and now I'm glad I did. I stayed the night at my sisters and we had a good laugh together and then I went round to my parents for Sunday lunch which was really nice. The thing is now that my Mum has just dropped me back, suddenly coming home to an empty house is really difficult. It's easier if you just get used to it and don't have company but I know that would be really not right either. I can't hide away.
I texted him last night just to tell him there was an amazing prom on - it was his favourite type of music but I haven't heard anything. I did it without expectation but I think it is just now I am thinking about it as I am lonely. I am missing him a lot at the moment and am just trying to understand that he doesn't want any contact with me. That is difficult to deal with when you miss someone so much.
I don't really know now whether to stay dark and see if he contacts me about rearranging another meeting or not? I really don't understand why he finds it so difficult to see me or contact me. It just all seems a little immature. I know I shouldn't compare but other peoples spouses talk to them at least about practical stuff. I am trying to be patient but I just don't understand it.
(((Julia))) I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I am in exactly the same position. My H doesn't seem to want to speak to me either, unless he has not heard from me. So, in that line of thinking, I think staying dark may be a good thing. It gives your H time to think, time to miss you. It is so hard, isn't it? I mean, we know what we want. We know how our hearts feel. It's convincing the DAM that we are right? Right?
Unfortunately, we all know it doesn't work that way. They need to figure it out. It hurts, and it's hard, but in the long run, I think it will be worth it.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I think it is also hard being around couples too. My sister and her boyf are really happy at the moment doing their house up etc and they are both so lovely to me, it is just hard being round couples that are happy. Even being with my parents today, and they aren't amazingly happy at the moment, was difficult because even thought they are going through an empty nest tough patch they still rely on each other and are able to laugh together. I miss that couple commeradery. I just find it quite difficult, it seems a bit silly really as I don't begrudge other people happiness, I just want a chunk of it!
It's nice to be able to talk here. If I talk to others about my feelings they move onto h talk and they just don't understand. I feel it's difficult to say to people 'I feel lonely' as they think it is a permanent thing caused by my h and it isn't, it is just tonight. Then it goes onto blame etc. I know they are just feelings but loneliness is a pretty powerful one!
I don't have any wisdom to impart either but I wanted to give you a hug and tell you it will get better!
Your H is probably just as lonely and confused as you are right now. IMO, let him stew in his own juices. Let him come to miss you. Let him contact you. He is the one who wanted this mess in the first place and he will need to make the hard moves to get back into your good graces. In the meantime, I think going to your family's houses is wonderful! Being with people who love and care about you is so important for your own wellbeing.
I understand the feeling of loneliness all too well. I feel it every day and there are two other people and a dog in my house! Being with other people doesn't always alleviate that alone feeling. There is an intimate connection that we have with our spouses that no one else can replace. Those who have never been in that situation don't understand that and want to play the blame game because they hurt for you and don't know what else to say.
We understand. We are here to listen to you and be your companions through this struggle. Lean on us whenever you need to.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I know they are just feelings but loneliness is a pretty powerful one!
It is pretty dam* powerful. I think it's something that just has to be gotten through, until it becomes easier through sitting with it. This is all part of the modern human experience, right? Of course, this is what I'm hoping.
I know just what you mean, it is really hard to go from being around people, to being alone in your house. We're social animals, we're not really adapted to it. IMO, this is why the breakdown of the family through divorce is so incredibly difficult, painful, and damaging--there's no set up modern social structures for people to be a part of when the nuclear family breaks down. Sure, you can belong to an organization, or belong to your friends and birth family, but it's not quite the same, right? They aren't really your partners, working towards shared goals & dreams. It's more like it's every couple for themselves...
OK, I could get really philosophical right now, but I'll spare you.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
