For the Guy with Kids and a WW 9

[hopeful4her]

I can feel myself starting to think too much today. It's been one week today.

Probably won't get to see my kids until Sunday. This is going to be a long weekend.

I can't believe that I took so much for granted. Our relationship and the marriage. I just KNEW that we were going to be the one's taking a walk in our old age holding hands. Just knew it. That our place was going to be the one that our friends and family loved coming over to. Sporting events, BBQ's, gatherings at holidays. That WAS us.

Then it just started to fade away slowly. Our friends dropped away one by one. She played a part in that. We had always felt so blessed. Then life started to take its toll. Job loss. Financial difficulties. Family issues. Helping others.

It's just not any Fing fair. I know that I preach to my kids how life isn't fair, but damn. I have really done the best that I can in life. Tried to do things the right way. I have made my share of mistakes. More than I care to mention.

But my love for her.....I just can't shake it. I will ALWAYS carry this pain. The prospect of being alone really scares the sh*t out of me, people.

I live my life just waiting. Waiting to wake up. Waiting for a signal. A sign. The smallest sign from her. Anything.

I just feel like such a fool.

Sorry guys. My lump is back.