is it really true?

[stella_k]

((((Jen)))), ((((Lisa)))), ((((Addie)))),

hello.

A bit of blue mood again.

I have just spoken with an old friend of ours, he called me. Last time we were in touch was Xmas, H was here and we were still pretending that we're together.
Well, he sent an e-mail to H and H wrote him back that he's with someone else!!! Now F called to ask what happened and I've told him the whole story.
I just don't understand. H is calling every day, we're going to move back together, he is living at home and not with OW, still he's telling our F (our D's Godfather, BTW) that he's together with another woman. Even told him OW's name. For some strange reason it was the most painful part of the convo, when F has called OW by name. Does it mean there is no hope?

It's not really a surprise; if anything, I've learned to trust my gut feeling and my gut feeling tells me I shouldn't be in Piecing. I've been thinking for a while now, that it's really over, H has made his choice and he's just trying to be a good person (which is what he undoubtedly is) and take me back home first, then dump me there, hoping that my friends will take care of me. H is a kind man. He hates hurting people, LOL. I hate this thought.

I'm also surprised that I'm not crying or having a panick attack, I'm just very, very sad.

I wonder if I should move out (of Piecing, I mean), I don't really belong here.

Sorry that I'm not posting on your threads, I can hardly concentrate on anything right now...