(1) You do "care", otherwise you wouldn't be saying "Who I am is not who I can stand me being".
(2) If you are self aware enough not to like who you are, you are self aware enough to know why that is and what you can do about it.
(3) Don't waste any more time feeling sorry for yourself or flagellating yourself for your past "mistakes". We are all the products of our various upbringings and experiences and our learned responses to them as we go along - often for decades - through our lives. Its only when we suddenly realise that something is seriously wrong or missing in our current situation that we start to unravel everything back and find that certain things we picked up along the way, or that were even given to us right at the start, just don't work as we were led to believe. That doesn't mean your whole life, marriage (and children) are a monumental lie or deception. It simply means you are taking stock and evolving.
(4) It may not feel like it, but you are making progress. You are gaining insight. You are stepping out of your (dis)comfort zone. You have had the courage to post here. You were motivated enough to get
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(5) I suggest you make a list of what things about yourself you want to change - even post it up here. Start doing these things one by one. Journal your progress.
(6) One way or another, your wife is going to be a part of your life for the next however many years. You've had children with her. So do your best to celebrate your anniversary - sulking in your cave ain't going to make you feel any better next week!
All the best,
S&A
Last edited by dbmod; 08/13/0803:30 AM.
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
