Completely and utterly devastated--how to cope

[istherehope]

Thanks BH!

Actually now I believe him, but you're right, in a way it wouldn't matter; funny what being in these situations allows you to tolerate. I believe him because he sent an email later saying how it was weird that someone used our card only for an Internet dating site, and it was kind of a funny email that sounded like the real him. I also think that (unless he secretly wanted to get caught), he would have used his own local credit card, one where I might not see the statement, instead of the US card where I am the one who always looks at the online statements. I need to trust him at his word that he will not date during this time, and if I find out that he breaks his word, then we will deal with that issue when and if it arises. So I did not ask whether or insinuate that he purchased the membership for himself (funny thing though--when I called True.com they canceled the membership, so if it actually is his, he'll be quite disappointed:)).

I did have another small backslide this afternoon though, but at this point I think the backslide isn't too bad, and could actually be beneficial. Yesterday H said that "maybe we would catch lunch" if his sailing lessons got canceled. He told me they were canceled, so I just asked, via IM, what time he wanted to have lunch tomorrow, and then in parentheses said (I think you mentioned wanting to have lunch). He said we could have lunch at 1 if I wanted, and that was it. So I pushed a little, but I am only going to have 2 more chances to see H before I leave for Poland, so I want to try and make the most of them. There is tomorrow, then the day before I fly out (Thursday)where I will be packing during the evening. Tomorrow is my chance to try some tips that my DB coach suggested, so I am really planning to make the most of it!!!

BH I'm really amazed at what you've been through yourself. It literally sounds as though you had to battle with every issue that an R could possibly have! I really admire the fact that you're still here, giving out great advice!

Have a lovely evening (or day--not sure where you're located)

ITH