SF Your situation is different. You did set boundaries for yourself, you are not a doormat. Your Husband knows where you stand.
Yes, you are right, the situation IS different.
Dar:
Listen to others advice--they have been thru things and situations that I may not have been thru and they can advise you better.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Dar there could be any number of reasons why he hasn't filed they often don't if you read the threads. Often its the LBS that just gets so fed up living in limbo land or siting at the end of their peice of string waiting to be jerked.
Often we file as in my case (rem I am alot older) purely for financial reasons and to get some control back of our lives.
They take the line of least resistance, as long as he doesnt see the need for a D he probably won't. He's got his own life anyway. Thats what you need to do. GET your own life. I always caution people about finances though-having been burnt so to speak. Look after yourself on that one. These men can hide and spend like money is going out of fashion. Remember its actions not words. They can all spout what they think we want to hear, is it the truth?-well truth is backed up by actions. I call it manipulation. Don't even worry or think WHY he hasn't D you. Thats giving him power over you and your thoughts. Are those eyes dry yet?
I don't think I can shake this one ladies/gentlemen. I feel like I've been kicked down to crap again like in the beginning. It's taking me my all to not ask to leave today.
Dar, Why are you feeling this way? Nobody knows what your Husband is thinking or what his intentions are. We can only guess by his actions, but it is also dangerous to assume things, especially since it makes you start spinning. So, it's been 2 years and in all honesty are you pretty much in the same situation you were in 2 years ago? Maybe it is time to make some real changes and stop paying lip service. Let him go, give him to God and start living your life. Act as if he is not coming back, and see how much you begin to start feeling better.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
BND, I KNOW I should do that, but I don't want to let him go! How does one just let it go and know that God will take care of it?? How do I know I WON'T get better when I let go and then I'd be really screwed, no? I'm sorry, I definately am spinning here.
Because Dar, you will make the decision to do it. It is called willpower. It about surviving and not existing. It is about taking back control of your life. It is about not allowing another individual to ever treat you this way, MLC or not.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
