trying to be patient and strong

[lovelyolive]

Karen - from my own experience and mess ups with child's exposure to ow, don't just let him do whatever he wants. If it's not ok with you let him know.. If he keeps doing it, definately talk to your attorney. The longer you let him keep doing it, the more it will hurt your case in the future.. Just be careful.. that's all..

LO

[karen43]

Karen - from my own experience and mess ups with child's exposure to ow, don't just let him do whatever he wants. If it's not ok with you let him know.. If he keeps doing it, definately talk to your attorney. The longer you let him keep doing it, the more it will hurt your case in the future.. Just be careful.. that's all..

LO

Ok, my therapist is out of town until the 18th and L is out until Sept. 2 so no getting advice from them. Should I send an email something like: I have serious concerns about you going on dates or whatever with your girlfriend and the kids while we are still married. The therapist and L are out of town, but I will be consulting with them when they return. Have you consulted about this with your L and therapist as well? Is that ok or do you think I should add anything, take something out, or not send it at all. What do you think? Karen

[kat727]

With the mood I am in right now, I am sure I wouldn't phrase it right. I would say that as long as you are still married you have serious issues with him bringing the kids in contact with OW. You ask that he respect your wishes unless he wants to pay for you to bring this issue up with your L.

Problem sounds meaner but meaner can be good.

kat

[lovelyolive]

I would just leave it at something like:

I have serious concerns about the kids being around your girlfriend while we are still married. I am asking that you do not do this until after the divorce is final. Thank you

So, then if he does it anyway, you have proof that it's not something you are ok with. THen, when your lawyer gets back, he/she can file a motion that does not allow any contact.

[karen43]

I would just leave it at something like:

I have serious concerns about the kids being around your girlfriend while we are still married. I am asking that you do not do this until after the divorce is final. Thank you

So, then if he does it anyway, you have proof that it's not something you are ok with. THen, when your lawyer gets back, he/she can file a motion that does not allow any contact.

I hope so! What gets me is a week or 2 ago H is acting all concerned about the kids mental health b/c there is an old wedding picture of us in the house. He emailed me 2 or 3 times about that saying I need to check with the C and all. And then he takes the kids out on a date with the OW!!! He's gotta be crazy don't you think? Doesn't that seem crazy??? Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Hi Karen,

You might want to e-mail him in no uncertain terms that you don't want your kids around OW, and him dating in front of them. Try to get him to respond to you in writing. As you say, this may help you legally. Any good C will tell you that it's not emotionally healthy for the children to be introduced to OW/OM so early.

((hugs)),

Puppy

[karen43]

OK how about? I would appreciate it if you would not take the kids along with you and your girlfriend or have the kids spend time with you and your girlfriend while we are still married. My lawyer and the kids' therapist is out of town at this point, but I am pretty sure that the therapist will agree that is not emotionally healthy for the kids. I will consult with the therapist and lawyer when they return and let you know. Thanks. And thank you guys, too!!! Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Too damned polite.

Try:

"I am asking that you not take the kids along with you and your girlfriend or have the kids spend time with you and your girlfriend while we are still married. I am almost certain that the therapist and my attorney will agree that is not emotionally healthy for the kids; you may want to ask yours as well. Thanks."

[karen43]

Too damned polite.

Try:

"I am asking that you not take the kids along with you and your girlfriend or have the kids spend time with you and your girlfriend while we are still married. I am almost certain that the therapist and my attorney will agree that is not emotionally healthy for the kids; you may want to ask yours as well. Thanks."

OK, done--I copied and pasted it and sent it (sorry I didn't give you credit Puppy)!!!! Oh, wow!! You know how I hate confrontations/stuff like this. I like everything to be friendly and light--and I guess H takes advantage of that when he can (which lately seems like a lot)! Thanks, so much Kat, LO, and Puppy--I don't know what I would do without my friends here (aka therapists, legal team, and major emotional support)!!!! (Those are happy grateful tears!) Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Well, we did say "asking," and we did say "thanks."