basically what I want if I'm very honest is an EA with my H. That doesn't help me to detach in the slightest.
As a christian, I feel that our M based on promises made before God is over (although it may not be over legally). That's why I call her the gf, not the ow. I don't want to have an EA with someone else's boyfriend!!!
I understand what you're saying, this is really, really tough. But it's impossible to have an EA with your H! He's still your H!
Here's a quote from my counselor. He's a great Christian man, and has a lot of great online resources: http://www.affairrecovery.com
"In America we are much more tolerant of divorce than infidelity. That doesn't make any sense. 80% of marriages recover from an affair, in an average of 2 years. Statistically, it takes 5 years to recover from divorce."
Do you see what he's saying? This is why I love the DB concept so much. Even all of our Christian friends would say that we should give up because there's been an affair. But isn't divorce far worse? Biblically, statistically, recovery-wise? Absolutely.
What I've had to realize is this: my friends care about me and don't want to see me get hurt. They don't understand friendship, relationship, sex, etc. with someone who's acting like my W is acting. I've told a few about W's little texting incident, and they all get mad and come back with a bunch of questions. How involved is she with him? Bottom line: I don't know, and don't really care. W will continue to be miserable, and no text boyfriend will change that. But I still love her and have tremendous respect for her.
Anyway, hang in there, it gets better. It really does.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
