Hi sh- I am glad you are trying to see your H now for who he truly is and that he has to save himself.
I struggled so long with the humiliation of what my first H did. I finally got to the point where I realized that the worst thing I did was make a bad choice in an H. His actions were not a reflection of me in anyway. I felt I did everything I could to save the M and I was able to hold my head high when I decided that M wasn't going to survive.
You sound like you are at the point where you can really drop the rope. I don't believe that you are resigning yourself to defeat. You are just accepting the reality of the situation...you can still have hope if you want to. You are right, all you can do is continue to work on yourself and if your H wakes up someday and appreciates you for the person you have become than that could be a wonderful thing...but you know there is no guarantee that that will happen.
I hope you continue to post to your thread. I think you offer some very insightful information for all of us. I also think it may help you continue to grow and process.
