Are you comfortable with having that R talk with your H? I don't agree with C's assessment that if it scares him, he is not coming back. He may not be ready for this topic of conversation and/or to come home at this time.
We can't force our spouses to do anything. You have a lot to think about.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
