So when the fog lifted it was a bit of a surprise to us both.
G, why do you think the fog lifted for your W? Does your W or you have any ideas as to why? I mean was it something she did, or you did, or whatever? Karen
To me, it was sudden and unexpected. For her, she says that she was having growing doubts for quite some time.
Some of it was XOM slowly showing his true colors, and W realizing that she didn't have to deal with any of those negative traits with me. She also saw the positive changes I was making in myself, and remembered the things we used to share and the things she missed about me. Me not initiating a lot of contact those last few weeks helped with the missing part.
The thing is, she resisted the urge to let me know about these feelings. She still can't explain to me why that was so. Some of it was pressure from XOM, but then why did he have such power over her? Don't know. I think it will be important for us to understand what I did to cause her to build such a strong wall between us, and what about her caused her to be so resistant to tearing it down.
Not sure if I am answering your question well, but we are working through a lot of this still.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Hey I have an idea. What do you think of picking a few movies that just focus on the guys we love? hot guy movies!! They could be any genre. Then we could also do that for the guys.(hot girl movies I mean)
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey I have an idea. What do you think of picking a few movies that just focus on the guys we love? hot guy movies!! They could be any genre. Then we could also do that for the guys.(hot girl movies I mean)
kat
Or how about movies with hot girls and guys???? Kat, you know how you said you are going to be something when you start dating b/c it's been a while--I bet we all feel like that, but I also think I'm going to need to find a guy that likes hand-holding and hugging too. I've been very deprived in those areas too! (I assume they'll like the other part!) Karen
Well H will still give me a hug and even hold my hand on occasion so I haven't been as deprived in that department. I don't think it is bad to want the whole package though. We all deserve that. The hug thing, I guess that is the joy/curse of being married(?) to a touchy feely person. I am so looking forward to a relaxing movie night. I even have popcorn this time!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well H will still give me a hug and even hold my hand on occasion so I haven't been as deprived in that department. I don't think it is bad to want the whole package though. We all deserve that. The hug thing, I guess that is the joy/curse of being married(?) to a touchy feely person. I am so looking forward to a relaxing movie night. I even have popcorn this time!
kat
I'm so jealous! H hasn't touched me since he fell in love with OW in December. He refused to even hug me right before my big brother had his brain surgery and I was so worried! I think that's a joy if you have a husband that's touchy-feely; the other stuff he does not so joyful of course!!!
Me too! I always have popcorn!!! Didn't know you could watch movies without popcorn!!! Karen
Some of it was XOM slowly showing his true colors, and W realizing that she didn't have to deal with any of those negative traits with me. She also saw the positive changes I was making in myself, and remembered the things we used to share and the things she missed about me. Me not initiating a lot of contact those last few weeks helped with the missing part.
Not sure if I am answering your question well, but we are working through a lot of this still.
Yes, you really did! Thanks so much!!! I find the WAS pov so interesting, b/c it's so different I guess. So it sounds like she started facing reality a bit, and when she did she saw your positive changes and was impressed (of course!) and your LRT at the end maybe helped?
I mean you were so deep into LRTing you were moving and getting a new job--extreme LRT. So basically those are kind of classic DB stuff you were doing. I will try to work harder on LRT also--that's a hard one for me, you really had let go or were willing to let go at one point weren't you and maybe she knew that it was her last chance? I think I'm close to that point too-just get divorced or whatever--tired of the rollercoaster. Thanks again, G! Karen
Well, H just emailed me he wants to have the kids sleepover again tonight and spend tomorrow with them. Wants me to pack extra clothes so he can take them to church tomorrow (his church has a new Sat. service). He also wants me to have S14's hair cut. I'm feeling like he wants to do the dating thing again with the kids and OW so feel a little sick. I have a C appt. the 21st and will talk to her about it then, and my L comes back Sept. 2nd and will talk to her also. I guess maybe these "dates" or whatever you call them if he keeps them up might help me with custody so if that's the case there would be a silver lining for that reason I guess.
I had a dream last night after posting on Jeff's thread about lying. I had a dream where I caught H in another lie and asked him why he lies to me like that when I have unconditional love for him? I woke up after and then I was thinking maybe the ? I should have been asking is why I continue to have unconditional love for him with all he's done. I mean at some point, it's not healthy anymore, and he's just done so much. Karen
Kat, you know how you said you are going to be something when you start dating b/c it's been a while--I bet we all feel like that, but I also think I'm going to need to find a guy that likes hand-holding and hugging too. I've been very deprived in those areas too! (I assume they'll like the other part!) 