Escaping the Backstreets on the Lake Erie Shore

[TwinDad]

Neil,

I wouldn't view that as pulling back.....if anything it sounds like she is opening up....just in a very guarded way. It sounds like she is starting to see the effect of her decision and possibly having a little guilt. She is also phishing to see how you feel. Definitely don't pursue but remain open to her. The conversation you had was good. She doesn't look you in the eye because she is not confident in her choices.

She is still guarded....hence the comment about not being able to take the kids to the park by yourself.....come on now. Am I missing something....sounds like a way to "protect" herself. You tell me....could you bring them to the park by yourself? I know I have brought mine numerous times and they are in between yours in age. Let her have that....it is ok....you recognize it for what it is. Show that you can be "just her friend" at the park and show her the kind of Dad you can be.....my kids have a room full of toys....their favorite one is me

[Neilh23]

if anything it sounds like she is opening up....just in a very guarded way. It sounds like she is starting to see the effect of her decision and possibly having a little guilt. She is also phishing to see how you feel. Definitely don't pursue but remain open to her. The conversation you had was good. She doesn't look you in the eye because she is not confident in her choices.

She is still guarded....hence the comment about not being able to take the kids to the park by yourself.....come on now. Am I missing something....sounds like a way to "protect" herself. You tell me....could you bring them to the park by yourself? I know I have brought mine numerous times and they are in between yours in age. Let her have that....it is ok....you recognize it for what it is. Show that you can be "just her friend" at the park and show her the kind of Dad you can be.....my kids have a room full of toys....their favorite one is me

I hope so. THe eye thing really bothers me....esp. in light of what happened earlier this week. I don't see how she is opening up......can you enlighten me?
she was phishing, i know that...the more i thought about it, i found that interesting.
and oh yeah, my kids favorite toy....me too!

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Neil--

Saw your post--

what kind of weird dreams? Dude--I am riddled with estrogen, you cannot make a comment like that on a woman's thread without elaborating!!!!!

Now, let me go readwhat your W is up to now.

SMW

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

now during this entire period her eyes kept darting around, and she rarely looked at me
I said what's wrong? She answered, again, rather awkwardly, "we became too comfortable here (meaning her place)" I didn't say anything.

Smart Move!! It gave her an opening to take, and she bit on it---

She proceeded with "I assume you still feel the same way about..... things" I answered yeah, but those are my feelings and she said "i know"

This is a biggie!!! She is so spinning right now. She acknowledged your feelings and did not discount them. She was checking your temperature to see if you are still in this for the long haul. BUT, I do not see her backing herself out of it by going on about how her feelings are different--and I do not think they are as far out there as they were.

i don't understand her.

Don't try to. I tell my girls all the time that boys will never understand us until they havea period. You have girls, you better learn this important lesson now!

i feel sorta yucky right now.

And I am with you on the yucky feelings. It is hard when you do not know what is milling around in the LBS's mind. The roller coaster is insane and you ahve to fid a way to smooth out the ride. That is where God comes on for me.

I see steps there, dude, I see some steps.

SMW

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Neil,

I wouldn't view that as pulling back.....if anything it sounds like she is opening up....just in a very guarded way. It sounds like she is starting to see the effect of her decision and possibly having a little guilt. She is also phishing to see how you feel. Definitely don't pursue but remain open to her. The conversation you had was good. She doesn't look you in the eye because she is not confident in her choices.

She is still guarded....hence the comment about not being able to take the kids to the park by yourself.....come on now. Am I missing something....sounds like a way to "protect" herself. You tell me....could you bring them to the park by yourself? I know I have brought mine numerous times and they are in between yours in age. Let her have that....it is ok....you recognize it for what it is. Show that you can be "just her friend" at the park and show her the kind of Dad you can be.....my kids have a room full of toys....their favorite one is me

ALright so I should have just read TD's post and could have put "ditto" after it.

SMW

[Neilh23]

LOL. that's ok. i like getting different perspectives that say the same thing. it's just scary..........i'm attempting to remember if we said anything else....i was just rather quiet and gave her this odd look, but didn't say anything. and she didn't talk about her feelings.......

[TwinDad]

Neil,

SMW pretty much answered what you asked from me I hope....

As far as the eyes go. Peoples eyes dart around when they are lying. Her eyes were darting around when she said the trip to the park was "just about the kids". Brings me back to my original point...if she wanted to bring them to the park herself she could.

Her pride will get in the way a little bit, just be open to her like you have been....don't pursue and be gracious.

SMV,

Wow I just noticed.....your S has 3 older sisters....he must be one spoiled and pampered 2 yr old

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

my kids have a room full of toys....their favorite one is me

and oh yeah, my kids favorite toy....me too!

This is so true! My kids would rather play with their dad than the nine tons of other stuff we have laying around this house!
that, to me, is the sign of a good dad. Mine was never involved too much with what my sister and I did. He was always gone (retired Navy) and we were used to him never being around for anything.

One trend I am noticing among most of the dads on here is the fact that they are amazing fathers. Just shows you can think about someone besides your self and hopefully the wives can see past the junk to realize that there is always possibilities i na relationship.

SMW

[Neilh23]

As far as the eyes go. Peoples eyes dart around when they are lying. Her eyes were darting around when she said the trip to the park was "just about the kids". Brings me back to my original point...if she wanted to bring them to the park herself she could.

you know the weird thing is that i knew that...and assumed that it was because she realyl didn't want to go. of course, that thought process isn't good for my sitch and would create a self fulfilling prophecy if i said that to her. She might think that i really don't want to go...

i'm so confused some days.....

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

SMW pretty much answered what you asked from me I hope....

Ahh Another man who realizes my value!

As far as the eyes go. Peoples eyes dart around when they are lying. Her eyes were darting around when she said the trip to the park was "just about the kids". Brings me back to my original point...if she wanted to bring them to the park herself she could.

I completely agree with TD on this one! I have taken my kids to amusement parks and water parks all by myself. But, when I brought them up for this summer, H siad it iwas too much for me to do alone and he would come with us. Now, he knows I have taken them by myself in the past!

Her pride will get in the way a little bit, just be open to her like you have been....don't pursue and be gracious.

Be her port in a storm.

SMV,

Wow I just noticed.....your S has 3 older sisters....he must be one spoiled and pampered 2 yr old

He is VERY Spoiled! The girls adore him and he is a sweet, loving, little boy that still knows how to play rough and tumble. Luckily, the girls are very into boys being boys, so they do not put him in dress-up clothes or anything. D5 says all the time that her brother will play football and she will be a cheerleader! LOL

SMW