OT You make a VERY good point about the TMs. It's weird because he responds to the short flirty ones but not the others. The more serious ones he does tell me he gets them but never responds via TM (but sometimes calls me) so I dunno. Or like you said, at least he reads them, so maybe I send it and not worry about the rest.
It DOES make sense to communicate in the way I do the best.
I think my gut still has an "issue" with the TMs that I need to work through. I'm BETTER but I still hate it. I wonder why sometimes... how different is it really than email or boards like DB?
Poet Thanks, gotcha!
ST Thanks so much! True.. expecting. At some point after sooo long though, I mean, aren't "expectations" OK? I was just thinking if I was dating someone I'd "expect" certain behavior at this point, y'know? But.. you're right, we should actually TALK (or text, or something) about it. I agree, good idea to ask what HE thinks is right/appropriate.
Aww c'mon isn't 99% honest close enough??
What's odd.. actually.. is that I really DO believe him in my heart. My head keeps saying "Don't be stupid!!" but I do trust him. It's like I trust him but hate the feeling I might be (or might've been) a fool about it.
GF, CK Thanks!! So great to hear from you.
Michelle and ST (re: the OW XH situation) Thank you! I am really happy that it didn't freak me out because really, he's a good guy.
ST.. you have a great memory! At one point it was my H and OW acting like teenagers, wanting to basically "party all the time" We had OW and her H (now XH) over for dinner one night and he and I were both pretty mellow, laid back. H actually suggested (indirectly but still obviously) that maybe we should "switch." EWWW!!!!!
GF - awww you are sweet to say that about H too, thank you! I know you guys all see a very biased "view" of him and I'm glad that his good still shows here.
--------------- So.. catching up.
I know I'm missing stuff but some high/low-lights.
- Last weekend was fun overall. I got mad at myself for being b!tchy a few times, though. I hate it when I get like that!! But for ex. Sat. night we got invited to a "Martini Party." Sounded fun.. I asked what H wanted to bring and he said Vodka Lemon Drop Martinis. Sooo.. typical "me" I research it, decide I need to zest lemons and make fresh lemons juice, etc. NOT a big deal except he got frustrated it was taking me so long (me thinking "yeah to make YOU look good..) ...ugh. When we got there everyone loved it and he kept saying what an awesome job I did, but basically I took too much work on then resented it.
- Sunday was my Dad's BD. Not actual BD but the day we agreed to all get together (me, Dad, half-sis, bro, and SIL). I think it's been at least 2, maybe 3 years since H participated. This year... H asked me "Do you want me to go?" I said "Well I'd always like you to go but it's up to you - I'd like it but it's not deeply important to me that you go." H decided to go.
- Also Sunday.. we had so much fun!! H was very attentive and we did lots of pretty physical stuff (i.e. hiking... ) which was great.
- I have been GROUCHY. I hate that!! I am trying to pull myself out of it, but I keep almost "reverting" to the "old" me. I spend all night with nightmares that maybe it's the "real" me. (I HATE people blaming this but part of me wonders if it's PMS a bit.. sorry guys.. ).
- Tonight was really great. Good sale at a local clothes store and I decided to go shopping after work. My clothes have been looking kinda repetitive lately so I really wanted to find some new stuff. Ladies have you shopped lately??? OMG... what's with most of the clothes???
I'm sooo not a "shopper" but I like looking/feeling good so I tolerate it.
Anyway... after many hours I managed to find some stuff I liked or thought I liked. Funny thing was practically on the way out I grabbed a skirt that I thought was cute but I wasn't sure.
I called H on the way home to say sorry I was so late - can I just say, love him??? He was excited I went shopping. He said "I did the dishes for you.. I mean, sorry, it's not for YOU, it's for US, but you know, you usually do it so I did it so you don't have to worry about it." Nice!! THEN he tells me "I started dinner I hope that was OK, I saw there were directions in the freezer on the stuff you made so I went for it." Sooooo nice.
I thanked him profusely than started to show him the clothes I got (out of the bag) and he said "Noo show me, aren't you going to model it for me?"
Wow...
So I did and the even BETTER part was he gave me honest feedback. I showed him my fave skirt and he liked it but wasn't super enthusiastic. I showed him another outfit and as soon as I walked out he said "WOW!! I love that!!!" (funny, it was the last minute skirt I almost didn't even see..). I showed him one more outfit and he said "Hmm.. it's nice but it doesn't compare to that last WOW one."
I know this sounds funny but this is huge.. he was HONEST with me about my choices. Old him would've said "It looks fine" (uuugggghh!!)... new him was able to say "not so sure that's 'you'" and new ME was able to accept it and move on.
Whew.. so much more to report on but basically, R is doing good. PMA/GAL.. I need to focus on it!!
Starting tomorrow at noon and through Sunday I'll be Internet-less (we're going to Tahoe again ) but I'll be thinking of everyone. I'll catch up Monday, too.
Hugs to all!!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
