Unfortunately, each person is different. It helps if you can "read" your spouse. But calmer conversations and the ability to be together without huge arguements or blame would indicate that some of the anger may be dying out. Response of the LBS can help or hinder this.
Anger is a tool to help validate an affair and fuel divorce so a spouse desiring to stay in an affair, and go through with a divorce, will try to hold onto that anger. Also, fear and confusion can always bring it out again.
It's more difficult to divorce a friend.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
