Losing, in a curious way, is winning.

[Purple]

So my 'why' questions usually have been a way to 'figure him out' so I knew what to do or not to do in the future to avoid setting off his temper.

That is what is making me very anxious.. how will I know???

Hi Bridge, this jumped out at me. When I said to my counsellor that I didn't want h to be upset or angry, my C said something along the lines of..., 'so what if h gets mad? Why should you [suffocate] or [lose who you are] in order to avoid making h angry? If he gets angry, that's HIS issue. YOUR issue is that you focus so much on him that you lose yourself'.

Therefore, what I think of when I read your bit that I quoted above was....why should Bridge check and change what she says/does if it is done to solely avoid making her h angry. Too bad if he gets angry. As long as you are being sensible and healthy and true to yourself - if he gets angry, then he is not accepting you and your actions.

not sure if I've made sense. Counselling was really heavy yesterday. i just want to go home and curl up in bed and sleep.