Ya know....I left something out. After all that diatribe on the PDF....and all her theories.....I left out one thing...for those lurkers and other men in the same position. What do you do when your W (in addition to DB, right sg?) trades you up for other men?

Her recs (not far from DB):
  • stop enabling
  • stop the pursuit (they think we're pathetic and not in touch with our feelings)
  • you have to find a way to break the limbo...you have to decide for them
  • she claims that exposing the affair kills it for them..it kills the thrill and secrecy....can give you a chance to work your way in there but the key to is undo the guilt they feel everytime they see you, i.e., if they've been boinking multiple men, can you still love them unconditionally?
  • a separation is a prelude to divorce and most likely an OM is either involved or was involved..if you have any chance at all, it must be before separation...once they leave..it ain't because they need 'to find themselves'. It's easier for them to do it this way than add to their guilt by hitting us hard and telling us the REAL TRUTH.


FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;