So, one week post letter. Not one word was said that night. Not one word said since. H has told me a couple times he would call and discuss the kid schedule, but has not. I've been on no-contact unless needed for questions about the house or kids. I don't know if I can take it. I just keep thinking I need to know what he is thinking............is he thinking he may be able to come back to me, or is he wondering how he can divorce me and go to the OW without the kids and the whole world knowing what he's done???? He seems even more uncomfortable around me. I continue to let him come when he wants to see the kids. This weekend is supposed to be his. I don't know if I can handle it. I still don't know why I have to be alone!
I keep thinking about something the MC said last week..........well not that she said something, but when I told her that I discovered that the OW I suspected 2 years ago was in fact a reality, she said something like "2 years.........that's a long time.........." Now, I'm pretty sure it didn't get physical until maybe Nov. or Dec. of last year, but still............does that mean this is something that is going to last????????????
I really am trying, and failing, to concentrate on me. The question I keep coming back to is what is this doing to me, hoping and praying that my cheating H will come back to me?? What does that say about the kind of person I am........desperate?? I consider myself committed and want to save my family, but what kind of example am I setting?? Am I saying that what H has done/is doing is OK???????????
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
