Michelle, here are the questions I was looking at.
Do you have a hard time saying no to others, even when you are very busy, financially broke, or completely exhausted? yes Are you always sacrificing your own needs for everyone else?yes Do you feel more worthy as a human being because you have taken on a helping role? yes If you stopped helping your friends, would you feel guilty or worthless? yes Would you know how to be in a friendship that doesn't revolve around you being the "helper"? Probably not If your friends eventually didn't need your help, would you still be friends with them? Or would you look around for someone else to help? no Do you feel resentful when others are not grateful enough to you for your efforts at rescuing them or fixing their lives? yes Do you sometimes feel like more of a social worker than a friend in your relationships? yes Do you feel uncomfortable receiving help from other people? Is the role of helping others a much more natural role for you to play in your relationships? yes Does it seem as if many of your friends have particularly chaotic lives, with one crisis after another? yes Did you grow up in a family that had a lot of emotional chaos or addiction problems? Just from my brother Are many of your friends addicts, or do they have serious emotional and social problems? no As you were growing up, did you think it was up to you to keep the family functioning? YES As an adult, is it important for you to be thought of as the "dependable one"? YES
And here are the red flags I read about: Do you become obsessed with fixing and rescuing needy people? YES Are you easily absorbed in the pain and problems of other people? YES Are you trying to control someone? Is someone trying to control you? YES Do you do more than your share -- all of the time?YES Are you always seeking approval and recognition? YES Would you do anything to hold on to a relationship? Do you fear being abandoned? YES
