Just live your life for you, realize you have to move on, and DO NOT expect this divorce not to go through. That doesn't mean you have to rush through the divorce or not be kind, and friendly during the process. It just means you aren't going to allow yourself to be hurt and that you are taking care of YOU. I personally believe moving slowly through a divorce allows more time for healing and growth. And it does allow a healthy chance for reconciliation if that becomes a good option at some future time.
Let's assume reconcilation may become an option. I just don't think your H is ready for that, and I don't think you are either. I think you both have a lot of stuff to work through and growth to go through. Just move slow, and focus mostly on you, your friends, and doing things you love. Be caring towards the X2B, but let him have the space and time to heal and work through his own garbage. Offer an ear and friendship, but expect him to need a lot of space.
If reconciliation were even an option in your relationship... it won't be because you both jump back into a romantic relationship together. I don't think either of you could even do that at this point.... it would have to start as a very gradual friendship. Time, healing, healthy feelings, trust.... that's NOT going to happen quick. This would be a new relationship, not the old one. So no matter where things are meant to go, just try to be friends, nothing more, that's all....
Sorry if I'm being a little redundant here... hope it makes sense....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
