I remember post-S/D, S8 did a lot of similar check-ins with me. I recall X starting to do funky stuff, like dropping his last name from forms and calling him differing nicknames. I kept firm with some stuff, emphasizing to him his paternal lineage, telling him what his grandfather(GF) and GGF were like, noting how many generations of our family has remained Roman Catholic, noting similar features of he and I, telling him what I hoped to pass onto him and his children.
I think a lot of selfish behavior on the part of the WAS includes an inability to see the impact of their behavior on the next generations. "It's all about me" fails to weigh the costs incurred by our children and grandchildren.
To me, your son is already circling back to stay or be more connected with you. It tends to be a little threatening to think about fitting yet more into your already tiring schedule, but there will be space and time for your children. And doing more with them will make you a better man and help to heal you.
You are an awesome Dad, Kev. He'll never replace you, and she'll never be able to erase you from their lives with lies. Work hard and put the rest in God's hands.
