I am definitely civil with her. but I throw in a couple occasions where I'm distant so the whole mess gets under her skin a bit.
Buster,
This post of yours tells me that you're not getting it. The purpose of not responding is NOT to "get under her skin," and in fact, it's the OPPOSITE. You want to get to where you're doing things for YOU, and for your child, and not worrying about what your wife thinks about it one way or another.
LRT, going dark, detaching, 180s, GALing, etc. . . these DB techniques are not done to "get under the skin" of the wayward spouse, nor even to particularly evoke a reaction from them. They are for YOUR emotional health, to to make YOU a better, more attractive person. If your wife then ends up seeing those changes and responding to them (and she likely will), then great -- but that's NOT why you do them.
