JUST USED LRT-WHAT DO I DO NOW???

[Sanderika]

Hi Brandnewday,

THANK YOU


My sitch is similar to yours. My H MLC was triggered by his mother's death in Oct. 2004, we spent 6 months watching her die from cancer. Out of the 4 boys, my H took it the hardest. At her funeral he was a wreck, kept breaking down and sobbing. The other 3 were very collected. Everyone noticed.

I date my H MLC as of when H left me....8/16/05, it was probably bubbling away though from her death on. I know 2005 was not a good year for us at all. Our troubles started at Christmas in 2004. We had lots of ups and downs.

I was in my own funk....I am sure it was deep depression. That added insult to injury. Every day.... "I didn't want to play"

I had a very close Aunt who was dying of cancer at the same time and I lost her in June 2005.

The summer of 2005 we got along very well. I commented to several people that we are going to be just fine. We did a lot of things as a family and my H and S12 also had a lot of fun alone.

Needless to say I was broadsided by the bomb. At first I went right along with it and acted like a "big girl".

I immediately started to primp up and put on a different face and demeanor. I did a 360 in about 30 days.

In Sept. 2005 my H had gone to the county courthouse & had got own D papers, started to fill them out and to this day they sit the same way in the same place in a draw in his office.

It was my 360 that got H to stop and that was back in fall of 2005. I know since then H has watched me very carefully and that is why we rekindled our friendship and sex life in Jan 06.

The biggest problem we have is the OW...aka...GERM. Somewhere along the way he fell in love with her. In this he somehow has himself believing that he isn't in love with me.

I admit I spent a lot of time around the holidays in 2005 pleading, begging and crying for him to come home. I now know that did me absolutely no good.

I try very hard to not have R talks with H. Since March we have had only 2.

I think once your H let go of the OW he was able to see a clear path for home.

I honestly believe that if my H and the OW would break it off for good my H would come home too.

I hear thru the grapevine that they fight all the time and it is not greener grass. My H asks his best friend all the time "what should I do" Best friend tells H "go home guy, go home". Seems to me if H is constantly asking he must be filled with discontent with the OW.

I know patience, patience, patience....I really hate myself for the D talk I gave H last Wed. nite. The timing was horrible. Just before he and OW go on vaca together. OMG, what was I thinking????

I am afraid of what H will say when he gets back next week.

Sanderika