Its hard enough with the parent together trying to make ends meet, let alone doing it seperatly.
I know what you mean about things going up, food,gas,ins.. its tight all over, believe me I know. This has been our worst year in business in a long time.
It doesn't help anything.
(((hugs)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I so know how you feel about being scared about how this will all work out financially...it scares me as well. Like you, we have been able to make a good, non-extravagent life with both of our salaries together going toward one "group life"...we both are in higher ed, and trust me, the $$ is not the reason why!! Things will change dramatically when the time comes to set up 2 separate households...
The other night when I was crying (and S18 came to comfort me), that (along with sadness for my children) was what it was about. I don't want them to suffer for this...and I started spiraling about it and feeling overwhelmed (we're sending S18 to a wonderful college that is so right for him, but that I just don't know how we will be able to still afford...just not fair to him)
Over the last couple of days I've been able to get myself back together again...hope you are feeling better now, too. We just have to tackle things as they come; when these times hit me, I try to boost myself with a number of affirmations. One that I particularly like is:
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength"
L
L, I love that too!!! (Do you have a book or something that came in of affirmations?)
LWB, I know what you mean. Milk now is about $6 the other day when I checked and the cheese cubes my kids like to eat for snack are about the same!!! (We might have to just cut down and risk osteoporosis or whatever.) Karen
With or without our DAMs, we'll manage and we'll get through this because we can. We are capable women, and we are stronger than we think. We will find a way to ensure that our babies are well taken care of. Whatever it takes.
(((((((lwb)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
LWB-- Just got caught up. Your WAS does sound like a confused kid...helleva time to try to grow up, huh? The financials can be very scary. As crazy as I was through this whole mess, I was careful to make sure that the kids and I would be ok with that. Its why I filed for legal sep the day after I discovered the affair--I wouldn't trust him with access to the money, and I wanted to make sure he would contribute to the house. If you have a women's center close by, they might have a financial consultant you can talk to about what you need to do, help set up a plan...
(Do you have a book or something that came in of affirmations?)
Actually, it came from a Mary Engelbreit daily calendar...I think she's based in lwb's neck of the woods!! Often, she has attributed quotes, but this one wasn't...so maybe she wrote it...but I have always found it to be positive reinforcement for me.
You're right L2. Mary Englebright is from STL. She is wonderful!
Ugghh! As cute as I find Mary Englebreigt, I have a hard time even looking at her things now. OW sent my H an online card. It's been months ago, but I still remember it to this day. I wanted to puke. It was about soul mates and how a soul without a mate is like a vase without flowers! Her email said....I guess our vase is full! BLECKY!
So lwb, sorry to hijack like that. How are you? Good I hope.
I haven't posted, but I've been lurking. Thanks for the emails earlier in the week.
Hugs to you and your sweet babies. I'm thinking about you!
-SueS
Last edited by SueS; 08/08/0804:16 PM.
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Karen