So sorry about work being such a difficult task. I hate that.
I don't blame you about the affection with H. Let him take the lead.
Sometimes it is best that there is no affection that way they can miss you all the more.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
So sorry about work being such a difficult task. I hate that.
I don't blame you about the affection with H. Let him take the lead.
Sometimes it is best that there is no affection that way they can miss you all the more.
Steelers, Thanks. What hurts at work is the intimidating tactics they are using.
When I got to the chiropractor's my head was so heavy and tense and foggy. After the cranial sacral session, my head cleared up which was perfect because I was then able to handle my H's visit well.
About letting him take the lead, there may also be a flip side - i.e. he may think I was being mean in not initiating any affection. I think he tried to get close a couple of times, ever so subtly but I couldn't tell for sure. So I don't know if he would conclude that I was avoiding him.
In the past, I offered to rub his shoulder. This time I didn't so I wonder if he thinks I am being vindictive.. I just can't sem to win. No matter what, I am seen as doing the wrong thing... it seems.
BTW, during the previous visit (Monday), he actually called me "Babe" once that night. See what I mean? And at one point he gave the sweetest smile.... I did smile back.
PH if you see your h look at his phone don't ask about a call or anything. He could be loosing weight for health not necessarily for another woman.
Nice that he called you babe. All is not forgotten.
He also stopped by with the boys again and stayed for an hour. I would again send an e-mail thanking h for bringing the boys by and how great it was to see them again.
Remember men want to be appreciated and this is one way you can show your appreciation. This does not mean you are pursuing. Pursuing is inviting them over, send e-mails daily etc.
A thank you is simply saying thanks for a nice gesture.
My h has called 3 nights in a row on his way home. THis is a first. We went to McDonalds with the kids tonight and bought a new dryer. ours stopped working.
H will be here in the morning. I am going to help him with some job stuff, then we are going to the gym (club) for a workout, hanging at the pool, lunch and then an outdoor movie with the kids in the evening. The kids will be at daycare tomorrow.
I have been trying to remember what you said about all the positives. I have a tendancy to put little jabs in here and there in a joking way, but I need to stop. I will pray that God help me continue connecting in a good way with h.
Then h will be here on sat, sun and mon too. I did say when he left, why don't you just stay tonight, since you will be back in the morning. He said nothing.
Oh well I did get a call from him after he left which actually was a really nice call.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
glam, Thanks. Yes, I have been wondering whether to send him an email.
Nice that your H called 3 nights in a row. He seems to be really trying. I am so glad that you have been having a good time together. Keep up the good work.
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I have been trying to remember what you said about all the positives. I have a tendancy to put little jabs in here and there in a joking way, but I need to stop. I will pray that God help me continue connecting in a good way with h.
I have read Jim Conway's comments that the MLCer needs a friend, not a mother. I guess when they get suggestions from the W, they see them as mothering them. It's also nice that he's here on Sat->Mon. Lucky you. I wouldn't ask him why he doesn't stay the night anymore. He doesn't want to be pressured, it seems, about that. At least he did try to be nice in a different way - by calling and checking in with you again - reconnecting.
Today when I got home I walked into a surprise, apparently my W came by picked up most all of her stuff and some furniture that was hers. There is very little stuff of hers left here. Her wedding dress, shoes, and accessories that were in her closet she left those here. Also our wedding pictures she left them too. She never called or let me know in any way that she was going to come by to do this. I feel very violated. I had put a supportive card in with her mail, looks like she took it with her, I didn't see it in the trash. All this makes me think if my W really knows what she is doing. At one point I couldn't help but cry. Makes me feel like she is just going to continue walking out and on with her life like we never had anything together. Makes me feel like I don't matter or that I don't even exist. After several hours I tried to call her which she didn't answer, I expected that. I waited a bit then called again and left a message that I would have minded that she was picking up some stuff, but that she never let me know by any means that I would appreciated a little respect after being together for so long and that I was disappointed that she thinks that she can't trust me. God really needs to deal with her because everything she is doing is outright selfish to the extreme. She seems to go about with this its all about me me me attitude. I love my W more then she knows, but she sure isn't giving me the smallest chance to prove anything. I really don't see how she could continue down this path and for her to believe that in the end she will have all this so called happiness that she thinks is coming. All my talking to people and extensive reading does not make me believe that this so called happiness is coming but much rather the opposite more than she knows. I would like some feedback from anyone on my sitch. This is tough for me. I need to go pray for us.
Sooners first of all your w had to come when you were not around. The guilt and not wanting to face you is why she couldn't let you know. It's easier for her to sneek in grab a few things while you are not looking and be on her merry way.
It may seem like she is selfish right now and she is sure acting that way, but remember she is in a crisis right now. All you can do is love her from afar.
I do remember my h saying a long time ago when all of this went down, that now it's all about me. I am tired of doing everything for everybody and fixing all the problems. I don't want to do that anymore. Obviously very selfish attitude.
I still think my h is selfish for staying away, but all I can hope and pray that through all of this he finds his way back home.
Don't let these moves affect you, continue to stand for your m and keep praying.
This is so very tough!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
If I were to send my W a text, should I ask how she is doing, or the the other day when she said "I will talk to you later" should I ask her about that or what she meant?
No, don't ask what she meant by she will talk to you later. lots of times, mlcers say they will call you the next day and they never do. they lose track of time and are forgetful.
you could just send a text that says thinking of you.........
but you should do what is in your heart and mind. keep it simple.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
