I think jon is getting at more unique compliments. I.e. what is something you guys have fought about? She is too ___. Nags? Irish temper? Slow with the housework? Turn it into a compliment. She is not afraid to tell you when she thinks something is wrong (or if she doesn't, go with nice/polite/etc). Tell her how boring your life would be without her quick flashes of anger. Tell her you like that she doesn't obsess over the house and takes time to appreciate other things (or if she does, tell her how you appreciate how things are always done). Does that make sense? It's WAY more personal than "you look nice" and is a subtle way of breaking her stereotype of the things you argue about.
My roommate and I often cook for each other when we are home on the same evenings, and take leftovers for food, but she is about the bestest roommate ever and I certainly never had that kind of arrangement with anyone else besides my STBXH. Take is as a VERY nice positive, but don't let it lead to expectations.
We fought about things like me procrastinating , drinking or smoking..i don't do any of those and havent in a couple months.. but i get it..
She did nag alot.. thing is right now we aren't arguing..
W has always cooked "our" lunches/ suppers.. something i never really did, i just ate..
And yes no expectations... funny i snooped again and she complains that i smoked/drank/smoked pot.. but i have done none of those for nearly 3 months.. why the constant complaints.. i guess we had no good times together?
