I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the post on my thread. I have caught up on your story and again just wanted to say that I'm truly sorry that you are going through all of this. Don't some days just feel like a nightmare? Like "shouldn't I wake up now"?
I am fairly new to this whole thing and see that you have been getting a lot of good advice here. I think we have very similar stories, I am very organized and detail oriented person which often translates as "control freak" to my husband and others in my life. I am still trying to figure out how to let go of things and let my husband lead our relationship and the changes taking place. I was recommended a good book through another poster here called The Surrendered Wife. I totally agree that relationship books in this stage can be toxic but this book really helped me understand the way my husband sees things and has helped me to take responsibility for the things I have done wrong that have led my marriage astray. One thing that it talks about that reminded me of your situation is this:
"Helping in wife language translates as controlling in husband langugae."
I totally got that because I always try to help my husband and did not realize it could be seen as controlling but when I read that something clicked in my brain and I got it.
I don't know, it might help you. I do not agree with everything 100% but it sure helped me.
I can only say hang in there. It's so hard. Especially when baby steps happen. Because then your mind flips and thinks "oh he loves me and wants me back now!" when maybe he is just having a good time being friends. It's hard not to read too much into things. I liked what you said awhile ago about how you felt like you were in high school all over again. Amen to that! Hehe.
