I think I know exactly what you are saying. Also, I went through a time that by talking so much about the OM on the board here, made me think back to the things I did not need to be thinking about! However, I finally got past all of that....thank God! Also, I am not fantasizing about him, now. So, that is a huge relief. It has been a very slow fade. I was surprised b/c I expected it to be faster, but as one wise lady told me, I was still a WAW in my heart and wanted to be with the OM. I had to face that truth and I didn't want to.
The part about the guilt......I understand. Only in my case, I only felt guilty about my kids and mother........my husband, I resented. Long story. But, over a period of time and especially last week.......it hit me hard........the remorse. And, as I told some others (and maybe I've already told you, if so, I apologize) but I needed to feel that remorse! I really needed to feel that, in order to heal. Guilt is one thing, but to feel "sorrowful" is another. Yes, I feel guilty, as I should feel it. There is no way around it. I don't know if men will ever understand completely.........even though there are some that try real hard to see our side of it. I may be wrong.....very wrong in what I'm about to say, but I got this from a preacher teaching about sex, marriage and affairs. He said that for a woman.......her "soul" is involved when she is "giving herself" to a man. A man can have sex with more than one woman at a time.......or several women over a period of time and it won't affect him in the same manner b/c his is not a "soulish" act. His is more physical pleasure. Everytime a woman has sex with a different man, it is like giving part of her soul to him, or it breaks down part of the make-up of her soul. (If that makes sense.) So, that is why, after so many partners, a woman is truly in "limbo" b/c she no longer can feel true love for any man. She has destroyed those brain cells or the soul structure......however you want to explain it. I can't do it like he did, but it made sense at the time he taught it. He said that was the way God made women different from men when it came to making love. She made love with her soul. So, I think we can even see this happening in our society today as far as a lot of break-down in the soulish part of the women in their R with different men.
Oh, hate to end here, but my H just came in with ice cream with hot fudge topped with peanuts! Have to go! (lol)
Talk to you later. Take care. Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
