Thanks for the post. I'm sorry that you are in a similar spot as me. I will read up on your posts later today. I know it is hard to go through but just hang in there. It doesn't really get easier but at the same time I look back over the last few months and while I am not 100% happy with things they are infinatly better than they were.
The counselor we are seeing has a pastoral background and is very pro-marriage and yet respects our wishes and will not force anything on us. That is what he told us anyways. So that is something to be thankful for. It will be interesting to see how our session together goes now that we have been seeing each other and having a good time together.
I am trying my best to accept blame for my side of the issue and really trying to look at our relationship through my husbands eyes and trying to understand how he feels. In the past I would always try to change the way he felt by talking him to death (what he called lectures) so now I am trying to give him space to think for himself and then when he tells me how he feels I am trying to really listen and accept it.
It seems to be working! We are doing very well.
I texted him yesterday in the afternoon to see how his thinking was progressing. I probably should have waited for him to contact me but I get so darn impatient He said it was coming along and seemed not into talking. So I asked if he wanted me to leave him alone. He wrote back and said "just about that" which I thought was huge! It meant he wanted to talk to me but not about our relationship. Which is just fine with me. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. I said fair enough and we talked via text (I was at work) most of the day.
So then today we got to talking again (he initiated the conversation this time!) and he asked about getting together tomorrow and we have been texting all day today and are going to get together tomorrow after I get off work for a dinner date and then either go to a park and walk and talk or go to a movie. I'm so happy because I thought it was going to be a week or more until I got to see him again and also because he is really making a point to get together with me.
Im very excited about our date tomorrow. I can't wait to see him. I am just going to have to really focus on not bringing up our marriage issues and just have a good time together. I don't want him to feel any pressure to get into those kinds of talks until he is ready. It's hard when things are going so well to not just say "let's move in together!"
He said it was coming along and seemed not into talking. So I asked if he wanted me to leave him alone. He wrote back and said "just about that" which I thought was huge! It meant he wanted to talk to me but not about our relationship. Which is just fine with me. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. I said fair enough and we talked via text (I was at work) most of the day. 