I don't know what your Husband will do, and in all honesty I don't think he knows what he wants either. According to what you have shared you have been riding this rollercoaster for 3 years. He has had ample time to file for a Divorce. Only he knows why he hasn't.
I remember a time when I finally told my Husband that I was emotionally ready for him to file for the Divorce. I was tired of the gun being held against my head and the threats of him filing every time he got mad at me. I took back my power. I was no longer afraid.
What you do need to understand though is that YOU have the control as to what YOU want in this relationship not him.
You can take all of your control back and IF you decide that you want to be done, after you have given it enough time then it will be up to you, not him.
After the bomb, I began seeing a wonderful therapist and she told me many times that one day the choice to take him back would be mine. I did not believe her, but it was true.
Once I learned how to detach and to get on with my life it got easier. Don't get me wrong, I missed my Husband, I missed the Marriage and I hated being a single Mom to so many children. But I also reached a point in my life where I knew I was going to be OK again.
You will get to that point and you will start to see things differently. Steppig back, going dark, and not focusing on him and his antics will help you more then you will ever know.
Setting boundaries, which only you can decide, will empower you and will help you to get stronger.
((((((hugs))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
