Mediations isn't supposed to be a counseling session. Do you have a lawyer reviewing what's proposed. I figure you keep your eye on the prize. If it doesn't work with mediation, there's always the next step up, then the next step up.
My biggest problem was that I didn't want the marriage to end and it's over for him. It didn't matter that we couldn't communicate, that he'd changed his perspective, that I shut down.
Hello.. reality. Sucks. Guess what? It will be my lemonade stand from now on.
If I switch lawyers, they refund the amount of retainer that hasn't been used to my checking account.
You can approach divorce any way you want. That's a good question to ask an attorney. Usually custody of the children ends up causing massive battles. Since you don't have kids, it's a division of assets. Filing creates a monitoring or safety net on bank accounts so the other person can't drain it with unusual expenses.
Make sure that taking care of yourself comes first when you're meeting your objectives.
Mediations isn't supposed to be a counseling session. Do you have a lawyer reviewing what's proposed. I figure you keep your eye on the prize. If it doesn't work with mediation, there's always the next step up, then the next step up.
Yep, the L's are sitting right there while it's going on. I'm not foolish. Mediation ain't a bed of roses either, especially when kids are involved. Especially when assets are being protected. You can look on this site and if people here are really being honest then you see how nasty, messy, sucky it really is. Kids or no kids. Nobody I personally know has ever told me that mediation is easier on the kids, easier on the people involved. They all say it sucks.
They say mediation causes the least animosity and is better for the family.
And I have beach front property in Tennessee for sale!!!
You have beaches in TN ? lol
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
How's the dog ? I saw where you had taken her, but didn't have any details.
I say find a big *ss barracuda ! He deserves it the way he's treated you.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Hope you had a good day. My whole evening was sucked up in drama. Ugh !
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I've been busy double checking the finances to see where the money has gone over this time. I also consulted the lawyer about what has been proposed already. The lawyer's scenario was very similar to my lawyer's and he had very good things to say about her.
Today I wrote WTS (random initials) a note talking about the finances and my negative cash flow. I thought the paycheck was going to be a 50/50 split but he's bringing home significantly more money than me (and I have all the large expenses). We reached a compromise, he never answered the question about the 50/50 split on the paycheck. I was able to write to him without feeling the emotion I have in the past.
I'm realizing that alimony keeps me dependent on him which I don't like. It also compromises any future relationships I might have.. but I've been told not to worry about that now.
I'm doing better, accepting the inevitably of being divorced. While reviewing the finances I saw that WTS had retained a lawyer the first moment possible after stating his misery. He said it on a Saturday, retained a lawyer on that Monday.
I'm glad I found the DB site because it has been such a support and gave me time to learn how to do all those incredibly positive techniques. I now realize what other people told me from the beginning.. that he had checked out of the marriage long ago. It's sad that this is a common story. Makes me very wary of ever being in a committed relationship again.
Oh yes.. day whatever with no processed sugar and I've lost 4 lbs. I have to admit the emotional stress makes me wobbly but I reminded myself of the good that NOT eating sugar does for me.
This whole process sucks... on so many levels. The victims are the children. If you have someone who is adamant about leaving (like WTS... Where's That Spouse?)you can't stop them.
I've let go of the final tendril of poison ivy hope.. of what I'm not sure.. I guess a miracle. Now I'm looking forward to my future. Ms. Imp thinks I should become a writer.. and publish my thingies. Who knows?
Oh my.. sorry to hear your night was difficult. I'll try and get in touch with you.
My daughter had a fashion meltdown, hating all her clothes, feeling they made her look like a little girl. I figured she was tired, which she was (she fell asleep in the car.)
