I've been busy double checking the finances to see where the money has gone over this time. I also consulted the lawyer about what has been proposed already. The lawyer's scenario was very similar to my lawyer's and he had very good things to say about her.
Today I wrote WTS (random initials) a note talking about the finances and my negative cash flow. I thought the paycheck was going to be a 50/50 split but he's bringing home significantly more money than me (and I have all the large expenses). We reached a compromise, he never answered the question about the 50/50 split on the paycheck. I was able to write to him without feeling the emotion I have in the past.
I'm realizing that alimony keeps me dependent on him which I don't like. It also compromises any future relationships I might have.. but I've been told not to worry about that now.
I'm doing better, accepting the inevitably of being divorced. While reviewing the finances I saw that WTS had retained a lawyer the first moment possible after stating his misery. He said it on a Saturday, retained a lawyer on that Monday.
I'm glad I found the DB site because it has been such a support and gave me time to learn how to do all those incredibly positive techniques. I now realize what other people told me from the beginning.. that he had checked out of the marriage long ago. It's sad that this is a common story. Makes me very wary of ever being in a committed relationship again.
Oh yes.. day whatever with no processed sugar and I've lost 4 lbs. I have to admit the emotional stress makes me wobbly but I reminded myself of the good that NOT eating sugar does for me.
