Seperated but living together...

[Kiki1011]

Thank you for the advice Jeff. And guess what...it's storming again today! AAAHHH! It's like an awful night mare I can't wake up from. :o) The reason I am so afraid of storms is when I was little my Grandma's house got struck by lightning while we were in it. It blew up the TV right in front of us and started a horrible fire. Plus horror movies always have the worst stuff happening during storms or rain. :o)

So I talked to H around 11:00pm last night. We just made a little small talk at first. We even talked about the storms from the day before and he made the comment "Yeah, I was thinking about how you were home alone during those storms wondering if you were doing ok", that's a good sign right? He is still thinking about me. And he also opened up and talked about the discussion he had with his father. I wanted to leave so I could end the conversation my way but I was so drawn to talking to him.

Before I went to walk away I turned back and asked about boundaries. (kept telling myself don't do it Nik, just go to bed, but I couldn't help myself because I just needed to know) I just told him I didn't know where we currently stood and what I should or shouldn't talk to him about or if I should even sit near him in living room or avoid him completely. I told him I just didn't know how to act around him because I felt as if we were merely 2 strangers living together. He responded that yes I could sit and watch TV with me and that I was the one who was ignoring him, he never wanted to ignore me. He said he hasn't talked to me because I haven't been near him. He also made the comment "We ARE still married right now" and said that if I wanted anything from him like a hug or wanted to cuddle or anything just to approach him. I hugged him and then he asked if I wanted him to lay in my bed with me for a little while to hold me. He did, but then the cuddling led to ML. I don't know if that was a mistake or not. Michelle I made a post about how ML with a seperated spouse could be a good thing. I felt sad a little bit at first because all of the emotions of missing him came rushing up, but over all I feel a little better.