It is subjective. What is cake-eating to one person is not to another.
Do we deserve respect? Hell yeah. Can I get an amen?
However, as an LBS with an MLC spouse, we accept that one person will not respect us. We should expect their worst behaviour, if they cannot respect themselves, they certainly cannot afford to respect us.
While I do not like the term, Puppy definition is the one I would use, if backed into a corner and had a gun pressed up against my head.
"Caking-Eating" usage seems to set up the following..."You deserve better, why are you with him?"
Do what works for you, even if it seems like allowing cake eating.
And by the way...
"Have your cake and eat it too." WTF? Really, of course I'm going to eat my cake, I HAVE...IT...RIGHT...HERE on my plate in my hand. Never made any sense to me. What I supposed to just look at it? Nice cake, I bet it tastes great, but alas, alack! I am supposed to only gander at the wonderous thing.
yes yeS yES YES!!!!!!!!!
i agree completely
Another man's....woman's...common sense is another man's downfall.--Virginia Peeples
The point isn't about saving your dignity...although that's very nice....the point isn't about not being taken for granted....that would be good too.....the point is.........to do what will bring you and your partner more love, a better relationship, in the long run.
If adultery is involved, there's a GOOD CHANCE that you aren't in a position to set limits. If you aren't the one holding the trump card in the moment, setting very firm limits, might make you feel justified, but may 'seal the deal' for your partner divorcing you.......or...staying, but closing their heart off to you. The former seems more common for wives setting boundaries the latter more common for husbands setting boundaries, especially if the H's trump card is only financial.
Leave yourself room to grow love and affection.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
